, , , , ,

Terminology often gets in the way.  People say you must have a passion.  Pick something to be passionate about. 

Maybe my mind exaggerates passion and places it into a pathological state akin to obsessive and even perhaps compulsive. When I thinks of having a passion I think it means that you have to pursue a hobby or activity to the exclusion of everything else.  It is the sole focus. Your mind can think of nothing else.

Perhaps I think of passion in those terms because of the sexual overtones contained within the word. With passion, you are driven to pursue at the exclusion of everything.  You get lost in the moment.  You can think of nothing else.  Time fades into the meaningless.  It is a temporary, yet powerful addiction-prone moment.

So when it comes to most things, I can’t say I am passionate about them although there are certain activities I do regularly and they may, at the time, utterly absorb my attention; I don’t pursue them to the exclusion of everything else.  Writing or journaling are long term activities for me.

I started journaling in elementary school.  With some starts and stops, it is an activity I’ve done for 30 years.  I don’t feel right when the words don’t come to me.  When they do after a Wordless spell, I feel relief.  Yet, I still would not say I am passionate about it.

My proclivity of exaggerating the word passionate may be a mistake.  Investing too much feeling into the word might be my undoing if society thrives on the profession of a passion for something.

Until the word is made clear and fully defined in its context, I remain passionless in my pursuits.